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Today is Tuesday, January 28


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Today, January 28 in 
1980 Six Americans who had fled the U.S. embassy in
Tehran, Iran, on November 4, 1979, left Iran using false
Canadian diplomatic passports. The Americans had been
hidden at the Canadian embassy in Tehran.

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Today's Bonehead Award:
Kansas woman pleads guilty to sexually 
abusing, starving 5-year-old boy

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In religion and politics, people's beliefs and convictions
are in almost every case gotten at second hand, and
without examination.
--- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)
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>From Max
During a long trip, my wife and I stopped at a
gas station to, amongst other things, change
our son's diaper. Being a considerate husband,
I carried my son back to the men's room to
take care of it, rather than letting my wife do it.

I noted the baby changing station sign on the
ladies' room door, but lack of one on the men's
room door. Sure enough, upon entering the
men's room, I saw the only available wall space
was taken up by a condom machine.

While taking my son back to give to my wife,
I thought of the message the condom
manufacturers might be trying to get across:
"If you'd used our product, you wouldn't need
a baby changing station in the men's' room."

________________________________________________`



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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
has been earned by 


Elizabeth Francis 
John Alvin Carter
Shawnee.
Kansas

Kansas woman pleads guilty to 
sexually abusing, starving 
5-year-old boy

A Kansas woman accused of sexually abusing and starving a
5-year-old boy has pleaded guilty. 

WDAF reports Elizabeth Francis pleaded guilty Tuesday to
aggravated criminal sodomy and child abuse. She and the
child's adoptive father, John Alvin Carter, both of
Shawnee, were charged in Johnson County court in June.

According to court documents, the couple starved the child
so badly that he weighed only 28 pounds when he arrived at
the hospital in December of 2018. 

Francis and Carter initially denied the abuse, but then
Francis blamed Carter, her boyfriend, for being physical
with her and the boy.

Court documents say the child told the investigator that
Francis also abused him. “She was going to let me starve,
and he would be dead,” which the child said would make him
cry, he told the investigator.

When charges were filed, Johnson County District Attorney
Steve Howe said, "Those who cannot protect themselves, we
even have a higher duty to help them in these types of
situations, and in these cases, small children are the
most vulnerable,"

Francis will be sentenced on March 9. The case against
Carter is ongoing. 



DearWebby's Tech Support Pits

From: Dorothea
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Hi Webby for some reason just recently your letter is
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Dorothea

Dear Dorothea
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Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. 


Newfoundland's worst air disaster occurred today when
a small two-seater Cessna 152 passangers plane crashed
into a cemetery early this afternoon in central
Newfoundland.

Newfoundland search and rescue workers have
recovered 300 bodies so far and expect that number
to climb as digging continues into the evening. The pilot
and the passenger have been released from the Crown &
Anchor, where they were successfully resussitated, and are
helping with the digging. 




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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Thriftyfun.com
Make Beef Patties Inside Ziploc Bag
By tiffanytallent1981
One of my absolute favorite meals is hamburgers. I always
mix in at least 1-2 seasonings, the most flavorful for me
being ranch and onion powders. I dread the mixing and
shaping part though because bits of the ground beef sticks
to my hands, as I roll and flatten.

I racked my brain and tried different ways to pat out the
beef. Then I thought if ziploc baggies don't stick to
ground beef when you freeze them, maybe they'll work to
pat out patties.

I'm happy to say the baggies worked perfectly! I still
added my seasonings in a bowl and rolled the hamburger
around in it. Then I formed a semi ball and placed it in
the baggy. I slowly pressed down to form a near perfect
patty! I made four of these and not once did any stick!

A drop of cooking oil into each hand and nicely spread,
works well for me. I usually add spices and finely cubed
onion for extra flavor. I cut the Saran wrap in half
lengthwise and fold it over each patty in a zig-zag
manner. That way the "tower" of prepared patties can be
taken out to the BBQ without worrying that they slip.
The Saran wrap, actually the generic equivalent, is just
barely sticky enough for the tower not to slip, but you
can easily peel the patties off with BBQ tongs or a
flipper.
Have FUN!
DearWebby

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than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your
tips, then you can subscribe to it here: ThriftyFun

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James Last Golden Hits Medley on brass 
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THE GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN

Between 18 and 20 a woman is like Africa, half discovered,
half wild, naturally beautiful with fertile deltas.

Between 21 and 30 a woman is like America, well developed
and open to trade.

Between 31 and 35 she is like India, very hot, relaxed and
convinced of her own beauty.

Between 36 and 40 a woman is like France. Gently aging but
still a warm and desirable place to visit.

Between 41 and 50 she is like Yugoslavia, lost the war,
haunted by past mistakes. Massive reconstruction is now
necessary.

Between 51 and 60, she is like Russia, very wide and
borders are unpatrolled. The frigid climate keeps people
away.

Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Mongolia, with a
glorious and all conquering past but alas, no future.

After 70, they become Afghanistan. Most everyone knows
where it is, but no one wants to go there.


THE GEOGRAPHY OF A MAN

Between 15 and 70 a man is like Iraq - ruled by a dick.

___________________________________________________

With the help of a fertility specialist, a 65 year old
woman has a baby. All her relatives come to visit
and meet the newest member of their family. When
they ask to see the baby, the 65 year old mother says
"not yet." A little later they ask to see the baby again.
Again the mother says "not yet."

Finally they say, "When can we see the baby?" And
the mother says, "When the baby cries." And they
ask, "Why do we have to wait until the baby cries?"

The new mother says, "because I forgot where I put it."

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Martha Stewart's Tips for Rednecks

IN GENERAL

1. Never take a beer to a job interview.
2. Always identify people in your yard before shooting at
them.
3. It's considered tacky to take a cooler to church.
4. If you have to vacuum the bed, it is time to change
the sheets.
5. Even if you're certain that you are included in the
will, it is still considered tacky to drive a U-Haul to
the funeral home.

DINING OUT
1. When decanting wine, make sure that you tilt the
paper cup, and pour slowly so as not to "bruise" the fruit
of the vine.
2. If drinking directly from the bottle, always hold it
with your fingers covering the label.

ENTERTAINING IN YOUR HOME
1. A centerpiece for the table should never be anything
prepared by a taxidermist.
2. Do not allow the dog to eat at the table...no matter
how good his manners are.

PERSONAL HYGIENE
1. While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this is a job
that should be done in private using one's OWN truck
keys.
2. Proper use of toiletries can forestall bathing for
several days. However, if you live alone, deodorant is a
waste of good money.
3. Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a social no-
no, as they tend to detract from a woman's jewelry and
alter the taste of her finger foods.

DATING (Outside the Family)
1. Always offer to bait your date's hook, especially on
the first date.
2. Be aggressive. Let her know you're interested:"I've
been wanting to go out with you since I read that stuff
on the bathroom wall two years ago."
3. Establish with her parents what time she is expected
back. Some will say 10:00 PM; Others might say
"Monday." If the latter is the answer, it is the man's
responsibility to get her to school on time.

THEATER ETIQUETTE
1. Crying babies should be taken to the lobby and picked
up immediately after the movie has ended.
2. Refrain from talking to characters on the screen. Tests
have proven they can't hear you.

WEDDINGS
1. Livestock, usually, are a poor choice for a wedding
gift.
2. Kissing the bride for more than 5 seconds may get you
shot.
3. For the groom, at least, rent a tux. A leisure suit
with a cummerbund and a clean bowling shirt can create a
tacky appearance.
4. Though uncomfortable, say "yes" to socks and shoes
for this special occasion.

DRIVING ETIQUETTE
1. Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles; Even if
the gun is loaded, and the deer is in sight.
2. When approaching a four-way stop, the vehicle with
the largest tires always has the right of way.
3. Never tow another car using panty hose and duct
tape.
4. When sending your wife down the road with a gas can,
it is impolite to ask her to bring back beer.
5. Do not lay rubber while traveling in a funeral
procession

__________________________________________________


Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the
double opt-in confirmation request.

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Today January 28 in
1521 The Diet of Worms began, at which Protestant reformer
Luther was declared an outlaw by the Roman Catholic
church.

1547 England's King Henry VIII died. He was succeeded by
his 9 year-old son, Edward VI.

1788 The first British penal settlement in Australia was
founded at Botany Bay.

1807 London's Pall Mall became the first street lit by
gaslight.

1871 France surrendered in the Franco-Prussian War.

1878 The first telephone switchboard was installed in New
Haven, CT.

1902 The Carnegie Institution was established in
Washington, DC. It began with a gift of $10 million from
Andrew Carnegie.

1909 The United States ended direct control over Cuba.

1915 The Coast Guard was created by an act of the U.S.
Congress to fight contraband trade and aid distressed
vessels at sea.

1916 Louis D. Brandeis was appointed by President Wilson
to the U.S. Supreme Court, becoming its first Jewish
member.

1918 The Bolsheviks occupied Helsinki, Finland.

1935 Iceland became the first country to introduce
legalized abortion.

1945 During World War II, Allied supplies began reaching
China over the newly reopened Burma Road.

1958 Construction began on first private thorium-uranium
nuclear reactor.

1965 General Motors reported the biggest profit of any
U.S. company in history.

1980 Six Americans who had fled the U.S. embassy in
Tehran, Iran, on November 4, 1979, left Iran using false
Canadian diplomatic passports. The Americans had been
hidden at the Canadian embassy in Tehran.

1982 Italian anti-terrorism forces rescued U.S. Brigadier
General James L. Dozier. 42 days before he had been
kidnapped by the Red Brigades.

1986 The U.S. space shuttle Challenger exploded just after
takeoff. All seven of its crewmembers were killed.

1994 In Los Angeles, Superior Court Judge Stanley Weisberg
declared a mistrial in the case of Lyle Menendez in the
murder of his parents. Lyle, and his brother Erik, were
both retried later and were found guilty. They were
sentenced to life in prison without parole.

1998 In Manilla, Philippines, gunmen held at least 400
children and teachers for several hours at an elementary
school.

1999 Ford Motor Company announced the purchase of Sweden's
Volvo AB for $6.45 billion. They then sold the automotive
division to China for a tidy profit, but kept the highway
truck division.

2002 Toys R Us Inc. announced that it would be closing 27
Toys R Us stores and 37 Kids R Us stores in order to cut
costs and boost operating profits.

2019  smiled.



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