Good Morning, ,
Today is Sunday, July 23

>From **grandma@yahoo.com
As you know, I am a Yahoo...  I had trouble receiving your enewsletter until I discovered if I put your emagazine address with a name I typed in myself.  I have had no more trouble except when I get a virus or some screwy bug on my system.  I don't know if it helps .ATT. but... It works for me.  Keep in mind I don't know exactly what I am doing on this 'puter business but I am learning.
Janice


Thanks, Janice!

Have Fun!
Dearwebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Driver charged after dramatic video shows 
vicious attack of 74-year-old cyclist
 Boneheads
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Today, July 23 in
1914 Austria-Hungary issued an ultimatum to Serbia following the killing of Archduke Francis Ferdinand by a Serb assassin. That regional dispute was used by far away England as an excuse to start  World War I. 
See More of what happened on this
day in history.
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The keenest sorrow is to recognize ourselves as the sole cause of all our adversities.
--- Sophocles (496 BC - 406 BC)

If money is your hope for independence,
 you will never have it. The only real security that a
man will have in this world is a reserve
of knowledge, experience, and ability.
--- Henry Ford
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An elderly woman and her little grandson, whose face was
sprinkled with bright freckles, spent the day at the zoo.
Lots of children were waiting in line to get their cheeks
painted by a local artist who was decorating
them with tiger paws.

"You've got so many freckles, there's no place to paint!"
a girl in the line said to the little fella.

Embarrassed, the little boy dropped his head. His
grandmother knelt down next to him.

"I love your freckles. When I was a little girl I always
wanted freckles," she said, while tracing her finger
across the child's cheek. "Freckles are beautiful."

The boy looked up, "Really?"

"Of course," said the grandmother. "Why just name me
one thing that's prettier than freckles."

The little boy thought for a moment, peered intensely
into his grandma's face, and softly whispered,
"Wrinkles."
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Morris realized he needed to purchase a hearing aid, but he felt unwilling to spend much money.

"How much do they cost ?" he asked the salesperson.

"That depends," he said. "They run from $2.00 to $5,000."

"Let's see the $2.00 model," said Morris the miser.

The salesperson put the device around Morris' neck. "You
just stick this button in your ear and run this little
string down to your pocket," he instructed.

"How does it work?" , asked Morris.

"For $2.00 it doesn't work," the salesperson replied.
"But when people see it on you, they'll talk louder!"
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
has been earned by

David Fox, 
65,
Peterborough, 
Ontario

Driver charged after dramatic video shows 
vicious attack of 74-year-old cyclist



A driver has been charged after a dramatic video showed a 74-year-old cyclist viciously attacked on the side of the road with a club.

Peterborough police said that just after 11 a.m. Tuesday, the cyclist was riding in the area of Erskine Ave. when an argument broke out between him and a truck driver.

The driver climbed out of his truck and attacked the cyclist with a small club, police said.

The video shows the cyclist on the ground with his attacker on top of him, striking him over and over in the head and torso. It shows the attacker stopping when witnesses approached and intervened.

A truck sits beside them, with a bicycle crumpled on the street in front of the vehicle. The victim was seen bleeding profusely as he walked away.

 I'm filming all of this,  the woman, who recorded the video, says as the driver gets back up and flicks blood off of his hands.

The driver then fled the scene in his truck.

 Where am I bleeding?  the cyclist asks the woman recording.

 Everywhere,  she replys.

The woman asked for her name to be withheld when later contacted by Peterborough This Week.

 The sound of the club hitting him was sickening,  the woman told the newspaper.  Blood was flying off it. 

She said she didn't witness what led to the encounter.

 They were flailing their arms around and the guy walked back to his truck,  she said.

She grabbed her phone to take a photo of the truck because she thought the cyclist might have been hit. Little did she know what the driver would do next.

 He became enraged and you could see him snap in the truck,  she said.

She continued recording and ran towards the men while yelling for the attacker to get off the bloodied man.

When the woman and a handful of motorists came to the aid of the cyclist, the driver stopped, put the bloody club in his pocket and wiped blood from his own face.

The woman helped the cyclist up from the ground and tried to stop the bleeding until paramedics arrived.

 I didn't know how bad it was because there was so much blood,  she said.  It was pouring down his face and he couldn't see out of his eyes. 

Additional witnesses tried to keep the driver in the area until police arrived but he drove off in his truck. The woman is afraid of what would have happened to the man if no one was around.

 He attacked a senior man and drove away,  she said.

Police made an arrest about an hour later. The cyclist was treated and released from Peterborough Regional Hospital. Police said the two men did not know each other.

David Fox, 65, has been charged with aggravated assault and assault with a weapon. He was released from custody and scheduled to appear in court on Aug. 24.


_________________________________

Tech Support Pits
From: Trish
Re: Can't use links
Dear Webby,
I have a yet another (recent since changing to broadband)
problem that perhaps you know the remedy for.  I can't
click on a 'link' to go to a website, I can copy and paste
the 'shortcut to' but can't just click and go.  If you have
any ideas I would appreciate them, .  I rang my provider
and they said it was a Microsoft problem.  I've tried
Microsoft but too hard and they charge for help even
if your registered can't find a way to contact McAfee
on the internet as in  "an email to them", as far as I can
gather if it's not in the "FAQ's they don't want to know you, that goes for Microsoft as well.

Thanks if you have an answer or even an address I can
email for help from McAfee or Microsoft.
 Regards
 Trish

Dear Trish
That sounds like a mouse problem to me.
Try adjusting the double-click speed in the control panel.
If that does not help, try a different mouse.

Have FUN!
DearWebby




One day a farmer's donkey fell into a well. The animal
cried pitifully for hours as the farmer tried to figure
out what to do. Finally, he decided that the donkey was
old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; so it
just wasn't worth it to retrieve the animal.

He invited all his neighbors to shovel dirt into the well.
At first, the donkey cried horribly. Then, to everyone's
amazement, he quieted down. A few shovel loads later, the
farmer looked down the well and was astonished; with every
shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey would shake it off and take a step up. As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and trotted off!

Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up.  Each of our troubles is a stepping stone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up!
Shake it off and take a step up!

Remember the five simple rules for happiness:
Enough of that!  The donkey later came back and kicked the
last three meals out of the farmer who had tried to bury him.

Moral: When you try to cover your ass,
it always comes back to get you.



If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!




Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Clean Bathtub with Powdered Dish Detergent

By Lynn [6 Posts, 2 Comments]
When your bathtub really gets grimy looking and the bathroom cleaners don't seem to be working, try a scrubby sponge and a bit of powder dish washer soap. It doesn't scratch, but it will get things super clean.
By Lynn from WV

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kitten tries to catch 
dog's wagging tail 
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Two Jewish men are on a train across Poland, each on his
way to meet a prospective bride on the other side of the country.

Halfway there, the first turns to the second and says,
"Forget about this whole marriage thing. I just don't like the idea."

So he gets off at the next stop and makes his way back home. Meanwhile, the second man continues on and is met at the final destination by the mothers of the two prospective brides.

When the mothers realize what has happened, they instantly
begin to fight over whose daughter should wed this precious man.
"He's mine!" cries one.

"Not on your life," cries the other, "He will marry my daughter!"

After bickering for a while, the man and the two mothers
decide to go the local rabbi and ask him to resolve the situation.

In the grand tradition of the ancients, the rabbi replies,
"Well, there is only one solution to this problem. Cut the boy in half, and you each take half home with you."

At this, the first mother looks shocked, while the second mother grins and cries emphatically, "Yah! Cut him in half!!"

The rabbi points to the second mother and says,
"THAT is the real mother-in-law.
Case closed."
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 These wood sculptures look good enough to eat! 
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>From Kim:
In my job with a credit union, I often run across accounts
that are protected by password.
The credit-union member, when withdrawing funds, must produce identification and then give the password to the teller.

Recently, when I asked a woman for her password, she sighed, rolled her eyes and replied, "Save."

I was puzzled until she explained, "My husband used that password so I'd have to say it every time I make a withdrawal."


Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
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Groan Alert!
A local elementary school principal told his teachers about a workshop that would help them become better teachers. One of his new teachers decided to attend.

When she came back boy was she fired up. She was so excited, the principal asked what happened.

She said, "I went expecting to come back a better teacher.
The first speaker was good and it was just an outstanding
workshop. The final speaker summed it all up when she said
all you teachers have to do is...follow a simple principal."

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Today, on July 23, in 1715 The first lighthouse in America was authorized for construction at Little Brewster Island, Massachusetts. 1827 The first swimming school in the U.S. opened in Boston, MA. 1829 William Burt patented the typographer, which was the first typewriter. 1877 The first municipal railroad passenger service began in Cincinnati, Ohio. 1886 Steve Brodie, a New York saloonkeeper, claimed to have made a daredevil plunge from the Brooklyn Bridge into the East River. 1904 The ice cream cone was invented by Charles E. Menches during the Louisiana Purchase Exposition in St. Louis, MO. 1914 Austria-Hungary issued an ultimatum to Serbia following the killing of Archduke Francis Ferdinand by a Serb assassin. That regional dispute was used by England as an excuse to start World War I. 1938 The first federal game preserve was approved by the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service. The area was 2,000 acres in Utah. 1945 The first passenger train observation car was placed in service by the Chicago, Burlington and Quincy Railroad. 1952 Egyptian military officers led by Gamal Abdel Nasser overthrew King Farouk I. 1958 The submarine Nautilus departed from Pearl Harbor, Hawaii, under orders to conduct "Operation Sunshine." The mission was to be the first vessel to cross the north pole by ship. The Nautils achieved the goal on August 3, 1958. 1962 The "Telstar" communications satellite sent the first live TV broadcast to Europe. 1972 Eddie Merckx of Belgium won his fourth consecutive Tour de France bicycling competition. 1972 The U.S. launched Landsat 1 (ERTS-1). It was the first Earth-resources satellite. 1984 Miss America, Vanessa Williams, turned in her crown after it had been discovered that nude photos of her had appeared in "Penthouse" magazine. She was the first to resign the title. 1985 Commodore unveiled the personal computer Amiga 1000. 1986 Britain's Prince Andrew married Sarah Ferguson at Westminster Abbey in London. They divorced in 1996. 1998 U.S. scientists at the University of Hawaii turned out more than 50 "carbon-copy" mice, with a cloning technique. 2000 Lance Armstrong won his second Tour de France. 2017 smiled.

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Have FUN !
Dear Webby from Webby.com
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